As vets we have to retain an awful lot of knowledge about a bunch of different species in our brain, but I could only impart one factoid onto a new vet for each species, these would be it.
Dog: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong, in a German Shepherd
Cat: Species most likely to send you to the hospital.
Horse: Species most likely to send you to the morgue.
Cattle: Hygiene and lube.
Sheep: Not little cows!
Goats: Not funny sheep!
Deer: Don’t. Just shoot them.
Birds: No diaphragm, if you squeeze them they will die.
Raptors(eg eagles) : Much easier to handle with a sock over their head.
Chickens: If it’s egg bound there is no such thing as too much lube.
Water birds: Projectile feces. Aim with care.
Rabbits: Drug sensitivities
Guinea Pigs: Lethal penicillin
Rats & Mice: It’s going to be a tumor.
Snakes: Don’t leave them in a cage. They get out.
Lizards: 90% of the time it’s a husbandry problem
Aussie mammals: Don’t wrestle wombats, you can’t win.
Fish: You can MacGuyver an anesthetic rig from two buckets, some tubing, a straw, a clean cat litter tray and some alfaxan. Do not use electro-cautery on a wet fish.
Ferrets: Most of their problems are from the same area; the kidneys, adrenals and ovaries seem to be part of a club to cause havoc for this species.
Pigs: Wear ear muffs, because they scream like you wouldn’t believe, and remember that they’re bred for meat, which is muscle and they know how to use it.
This is not an attempt to condense veterinary medicine into a few dozen sentences. But if you can only remember one thing, make it a useful one.
I love how this seemed to start as a comedy post (but still true) then just got all super serious. Handy things though. and the GSD thing is so true.